Kids with Anxiety Part 5: Relaxation

Initiating Relaxation

The key to overcoming anxiety is to learn to initiate relaxation.  Sometimes being quiet and still can be difficult for kids, but for those with anxiety, it can be even more of a challenge.  In this blog, I'll focus on a tool called yoga nidra, which is a deep relaxation.

We start the relaxation response by breathing, as I discussed in Part 1.  Movement often helps kids with anxiety.  Some helpful yoga poses were covered in Part 2.  Relaxation is different from the other meditation we discussed in Part 3.  In that meditation, we were trying to help the child to focus, while in relaxation, we're trying to help the child to let go.  Gratitude (Part 4) is both a tool for changing the way the mind thinks and something to focus on, as well.  This blog focuses on total relaxation (yoga nidra).  Ideally, a person in yoga nidra is neither fully awake nor fully asleep, but it's really okay if the child falls asleep.  In fact, I see it as a compliment when students fall asleep.  It means I have helped them to truly relax and that they trust me enough to completely let go.

In order for children to relax completely, they must feel comfortable and safe. Then, they can begin to draw attention to specific parts of their bodies and hopefully relax them.  Since the mind is busy concentrating on specific parts of the body, it can't be worrying.  As the body relaxes, so does the mind!

5 Parts of Yoga Nidra

This basic yoga nidra includes five parts: breath focus, body scan, rotation of consciousness, journey, and return.  The breath focus is similar to what we did in Part 1.  The body scan is a quick release of tension throughout the body.  The rotation of consciousness is a fancy term for a very slow, very specific body scan.  We ask the child to bring his attention to each part of his body, one at a time.  The journey is a description using all of the senses.  In our example at the end, we have an open-ended description of a place the child feels safe in.  The journey can describe anything, but it's important that it's a place the child enjoys and feels safe.  The return is when we bring the child back into the room and the present moment.  A basic yoga nidra script is included at the end of this post.

Getting Comfy

Begin by having your child lay comfortably on her back on the floor or bed.  If she has an eye pillow, she may want to place it across her eyes or forehead.  Her back may feel more relaxed if a pillow is placed under her knees.  If she's comfortable, it's best not to have a pillow under her head.  Ask her to close her eyes or lower her gaze. Remind her that she always has a choice.

Advanced Yoga Nidra

You can extend the length of the rotation of consciousness as the child learns to relax for longer periods of time.  You can extend the pauses between body parts by waiting 1-3 breaths before naming the next part.  You can also be more detailed with the parts you name.  For example, instead of just saying "ear," you could say, "ear lobe, the folds of the ear, the inner ear, the sounds coming in your ear." You can also extend the journey to include more detail.  For this blog, the script will be basic and best for beginners.

Yoga Nidra Script

Move in any way that will make you a little more comfortable.  We are going to start Yoga Nidra.  This activity will help you relax.  If you can, try to stay awake.

(Breath Focus) Think about your breath.  Notice how it feels as it comes in your knows, travels down your throat, and fills up your chest.  Maybe you feel your belly get bigger too.  Then feel the air as it goes out.  Your belly and chest relax as the air leaves your lungs and travels back up your throat and out your nose.  (pause)  Feel your breath come in (pause) and go out (pause for several breaths).

(Body Scan) Slowly think about each part of the front of your body, starting at the top of your head, and relax it.  Your face (pause), your chest (pause), your belly (pause), your arms (pause), and your legs (pause).  When you get to your feet, begin think about the back of your body and relax it.  Your legs (pause), your bottom (pause), your back (pause), your arms (pause), your neck (pause), the back of your head (pause).  Relax your whole body (pause for several breaths).

(Rotation of Consciousness) Think about the top of your head (pause).  The spot where your head touches the mat (floor or pillow) (pause).  Your forehead (pause), your eyes (pause), your nose (pause), your cheeks (pause), one ear (pause), the other ear (pause), your mouth (pause), your chin (pause).  Your whole face (pause).  Your whole head (pause).

Think about your neck (pause), your chest (pause), your belly (pause).  Think about your upper back (pause), your middle back (pause), your lower back (pause).  Think about your right shoulder (pause), your right arm (pause), right hand (pause), your fingers (pause).  Your whole right arm (pause). Think about your left shoulder (pause), your left arm (pause), left hand (pause), your fingers (pause).  Your whole left arm (pause).

Think about your right hip (pause), leg (pause), foot (pause), toes (pause).  Your whole right leg (pause). Your left hip (pause), leg (pause), foot (pause), toes (pause). Your whole left leg (pause). Your whole body (pause).  Your whole body together (pause).

Let your body feel heavy like it's sinking down into the mat, down into the floor (pause).  Relax (pause).  Feel heavy. (pause for a few breaths)

(Journey) Think about a place where you feel safe and comfortable (pause).  Picture this place in your head (pause).  Try to use all of your senses to make this place really clear in your mind (pause).  Imagine what you would see in this place (pause).  Imagine what you would smell (pause), what textures you might feel (pause).  Imagine what you might taste in this place (pause) and the sounds you might hear (pause).  If you want, you can imagine yourself walking around in your safe place (pause).  Maybe you are picking things up and looking at them (pause).  Maybe you are just resting there (pause).  Whatever you are doing, you feel safe and secure in this place (longer pause).

Remember that you can come back to your safe place any time you need to (pause).  It is always there for you (longer pause).  

(Return)  Begin to take deeper breaths (pause).  Bring yourself back into this room, the real room that you are in (pause).  Wiggle your fingers and toes (pause).  Stretch in any way that feels good to you (pause).  Roll on to one side for a moment and begin to notice the light in the room (pause).  Push yourself up to a comfortable seat (pause).  Thank you for allowing me to lead you in yoga nidra today.  The light within me honors the light within you.  Namaste.

Thank you!

Have you tried Yoga Nidra before?  How did you feel afterwards?  Did you try this script with your child?  What did they think of it? I'd love to hear from you!

Kids with Anxiety Part 2: The Yoga Poses

In Kids with Anxiety Part1: The Breath, I gave some ideas about how to use breathing techniques to help a child who has anxiety.  Breathing practices are one part of yoga.  When we say the word "yoga," most people think about the poses, but there are actually 8 main parts (limbs) of yoga.  Breath (pranayama) is one limb and the poses (asana) are another.  In another post, I'll explain all 8 limbs of yoga.  In this post, I will discuss yoga poses that, when combined with the breath, can help a child with anxiety.

Connecting movement and breath is what can make yoga a type of meditation.  Many call it meditation in motion.  Concentrating on the breath while in the pose helps the child to stay in the present moment.  If she is only thinking about the future or the past, she is not in the here and now.  Bringing the attention to the breath helps her stay in the present.  For kids who have anxiety, the movements and poses of asana connected with their breath can help them to settle their minds and break the cycle of worry. To connect the breath and the pose, the child can take a certain number of breaths in the pose feeling her belly rise and fall or move from one pose to another using her breath as a guide for her movement.

Lots of poses can help a child with anxiety.  He should find something that feels comfortable while still stretching his body.  It's this combination of ease and effort that makes yoga so wonderful for the body and mind!  The following are some suggested poses.

Easy Seated Pose

Many kids call this pose "criss cross applesauce." The picture is my son J who has a form of autism.  Ideally, he would be sitting up straight for easy pose, but the important thing is that he's doing yoga.  He's sitting still and he's breathing.  He's out in nature and he's happy.  This is great!

Jaxson has his hands in anjali mudra (at heart center), but the hands could be in any number of mudras (I'll discuss these in another post) or even just resting on the legs.  Comfort and stillness are the main objective.  Thirty seconds to 3 minutes of stillness and breath would be ideal!  If your child can sit longer, that's great too!

Downward Facing Dog

www.healthline.com/health/parenting/yoga-for-kids

Downward dog (down dog) is an upside down V.  The child presses her whole palm into the floor while keeping her legs as straight as possible without hyper-extending the knees and pressing her heels toward (but not on) the floor.

This pose stretches lots of different muscles.  If the child needs to move in the pose, she can walk her dog by pressing one heel toward the floor while bending the opposite knee and then switching with the breath.  Tying the breath to this movement can help the child to stay in her body and out of her anxious mind.

Warrior 1 & 2

www.healthline.com/health/parenting/yoga-for-kids

Warrior 1 and warrior 2 work together to form the warrior series.  The feet stay firmly planted with the front foot straight ahead and the back foot turned slightly in.  The front knee bends until it is directly over the front ankle.

For warrior 1, the hands reach up to the ceiling with the shoulders relaxing down and the ribs are turned over the front leg.  The child should take 2-3 full, slow breaths here before moving into warrior 2.

For warrior 2, he turns his ribs so his shoulders are directly over his hips and he is opened out to the side.  His arms reach out to the sides and his gaze is turned over his front arm, in the same direction as the bent leg.  He should stay here for 2-3 full breaths before switching feet so he can do the warrior series on the other side.

Child's Pose

Many children (and adults) find this pose to be quite calming. The big toes should be touching, but not crossed.  The knees can be together or apart and the hips are sinking down toward the heels.  The forehead is on the floor with the arms stretching forward, wrapped around to touch the heels, or resting on the floor.  If her head won't comfortably reach the floor, a yoga block or rolled blanket can be placed under her forehead. The child can breathe here for several minutes.

The pressure of the forehead on the floor calms the nervous system. Having the head below or even with the heart, lowers the blood pressure to help calm a nervous child.

Legs Up the Wall

This pose is a favorite of many kids (and adults).  This is usually the first pose that I can get people to practice at home for two reasons:  it feels good and it works!

The child can lay on his back with his legs as flat against the wall as possible.  His bottom should be against the wall.  If this causes strain in the hamstrings (back of the leg), a block or rolled up blanket can be placed under his lower back.  The feet are flexed.

This pose relaxes the nervous system.  It can lower the blood pressure and relax the heart rate.  And this pose helps with insomnia when done for a few minutes before bed or when waking up in the middle of the night.  Many students have found this pose to be quite effective!

Savasana

Savasana is sometimes called corpse pose, resting pose, or sleeping pose.  For this pose, the child lays flat on her back allowing her feet to flop out and her arms to flop away from her sides.  She can close her eyes or soften her gaze downward.  The main idea with this pose is to relax.

Savasana and easy pose are great for meditation and breath work.  In savasana, the child can easily draw her attention to the movements of the belly and chest while breathing.  Guided meditation and deep relaxation can be used in these poses as well.  (Another article will cover guided meditation and relaxation for kids with Anxiety.)

These poses are great for kids (or adults) with anxiety.  Regular, daily practice is the best way to help children who have anxiety.  This practice should not be long.  Fifteen minutes or so may be ideal, depending on the age of the child.

What poses have you found helpful for your anxiety?